de·pend·ent

de·pend·ent: (adjective) .. relying on someone or something else for aid, support, etc ..

last night while i was running i got to thinking about how dependent the earth is on rain .. i know .. strange .. don't ask me why .. it just seems like it has been so long since it rained .. and then it rained all day long and it made me realize just how bad we needed the rain .. how dependent we are on it .. it must have been the 18th oreo that i ate .. note to self .. stop at 17 .. 

anyway .. 

that led me to think about what else are we dependent on .. 

that led to a list as long as the miles i ran ..

being "dependent" can mean so many things .. 

at some point in our lives we are all marked as a "dependent" on a tax form .. but that is not the dependent that i was thinking about .. 

i was thinking about how dependent i am on my mom and dad .. not only for everything they do 

ie: childcare whenever .. meals cooked .. but the things they don't DO .. more like my soul and my heart are dependent on them .. they keep me grounded .. remind me that family is what is most important .. i think it is their presence .. my soul is dependent on that .. just being with them .. settles me in a way that clears my head and feeds my soul .. 

that makes me wonder if anyone is dependent on me .. 

i know i am depended on to do the laundry .. pack lunches .. run the house etc .. 

but am i depended on for something that i don't DO .. 

does ellie depend on me when she is having a bad day .. does she think to herself .. if i can just make it home from school and then i will see my mom and all will be ok .. 

honestly i bet she depends on granny for that .. 

truth be told .. i do .. things are always better when i get to go home and see granny ..

is being depended on a thing that is passed down .. like eating at the "adult" table at christmas .. you know .. you have to eat at the kids table when you are a kid but you don't get to move to the adult table until there is an opening .. i am still at the kid table .. is it the same way .. we .. i .. the kids .. we will depend on granny until .. GASP .. she is not here .. and then they .. the kids .. me .. will depend on me .. 

and then when that happens what does that mean .. i don't think that i want to be depended on .. those are huge shoes to fill and i am not there yet .. i am still at the kids table for goodness sake ..

i just want to depend on oreos for motivation to run

i told you .. heavy thoughts to go with the heavy rain last night .. it was most likely all the electricity running thru the sky last night .. not the oreos ..


oreos would never do that