weird feeling ..

i am home alone .. not the kind of home alone that i strategically plan and hope for .. no kids .. no jeff ..

but the kind of alone that i knew was coming .. i have known that it would be here all summer ..

i feel empty inside .. isn't that strange ..

i went to the bathroom .. by myself .. that is something that i have not done in 9 years ..
no small person following me in .. talking to me the whole time .. asking me for a snack or to help them with something ..

that was really strange .. it almost didn't feel right ..

i find myself wondering around the house .. like we are playing the indoor version of hide and seek .. but i never find them ..

i didn't feel this way when ellie went to school ..

will this feeling pass .. will it be like this every year when school starts ..
does it seem so quiet and strange because dropping your kids off at school during the first few weeks can be at the least .. dramatic ..

will i still feel this way on the last day of school ..

if anyone has any answers please share them with me ..

having issues with this  .. i am going to self medicate with some oreos ..