limits ..

last night jeff and i attended a memorial service for a friend who lost their son .. i know .. what a way to start a post .. but wait .. keep reading ..

after the service we needed to decompress a bit before we came home to our own children so we went and had a late dinner .. it was the kind of dinner where you sit silent with each other but yet it was a kind of comforting silence .. the kind that comes with being with someone for so long .. there was an unspoken sense of "everything will be ok" between us 

and for some reason .. who knows .. maybe it was the entire piece of key lime "comfort" pie that i ate but i started to think about all the limits that are on or in our lives ..

speed limits .. spending limits .. limits to how long we can stay awake or sleep .. limits to how long we can stand the cold or the heat .. limits to how much we can eat .. how much medication we can take .. limits with how far we can push ourselves or others for that matter .. limits to our patience .. limits to how much our bodies can endure .. limits to how much our little hearts and souls can take without breaking from sadness or bursting from happiness .. limits to our friendships .. limits to our love .. 

it was this last one that made me stop eating my pie .. limits to our love .. can there really be such a thing .. there are so many different kinds of love .. love for oreos and love for your spouse are not the same .. yes .. some days i would trade my spouse for a bag of oreos but i am pretty sure that in the end i would want to trade back .. 

the one kind of love that i think has no limits .. not a one .. is the love that a parent feels for a child .. 

yes .. at times we are upset with .. not happy with .. don't agree with .. disappointed in .. can't believe they did that .. can't even think about you now because the thoughts in my head are not even close to being nice .. as a parent we all think this or will think this .. i think we have those thoughts because we do love our children without limits .. otherwise it wouldn't matter what they did .. we could literally care less .. but in the end .. we do love them 

is this why losing a child is the worst pain imaginable .. because you love them without limits .. because they have not even begun to live their lives ... because they have not had the chance to experience love without any limits .. 

sorry but i had to get it out ..