dinner

after sleeping all day sunday because my blond headed bull dozer seeking son can't seem to sleep thru the night .. i thought that i would cook and bake for my family on monday .. after all .. i was at home .. alone .. which means that i have 2 options .. take a nap or bake and cook ... yes there was laundry to do .. especially since i slept all day sunday .. but laundry is not an option .. it is a must do .. so

nap or bake and cook ..

uummmmm ..

so i tried some new recipes .. PW makes a spicy slow cooked pork with dr pepper and ..

an entire can of chipotle peppers ..

see .. dump it all in there and cook at 350 for 6 hours or until the meat is so tender that when you take off the lid and come close to it with a fork it falls apart .. 

i love this kind of meal ..

pouring all the ingredients into a pan and putting in into the oven to cook .. this frees a person up to do other things .. such as nap .. or eat oreos .. or both 

then when it is done and you are ready to eat you send your husband and small children up the hill to help granny and grandpa plants trees and sit down and enjoy a quiet meal where you don't have to get up after you sit down 99 times to fetch whatever else it might be that the blond hair bull dozer seeking son might need ..

pile on the cheese i say 

and fresh cilantro and grape tomatoes .. 

now if i was really smart i would have had a bud light lime with this as well .. or a glass of wine .. but

1) we had soccer practice and i kinda wanted to go and take pictures and check out the other kids and meet the coaches .. after all it would be the only time that either of those could happen because

 a) i don't go to soccer practice .. i like to share my opinions about how other children that are not mine behave and b) the games are on saturdays .. we work on saturdays so granny and grandpa go the games to cheer on my brilliant athletic children

and

2) my wine frig is on the fritz so all my wine is in granny's frig up the hill .. and if i went up the hill i would have been discovered by my family and would not have gotten to eat in silence while sitting at the table for 10 minutes without having to get up 

so i had a diet coke .. and pretended like it was a bll .. kinda the same but not

3 pairs of shoes ..

i come home from running the other morning and i noticed this .. 3 pairs of muddy soccer practice shoes on my front porch bench and a bag of weed killer and bug spray ..

how many people do you know that have 3 pairs of muddy soccer shoes, bug spray and week killer on their front porch .. well .. now you can say you know one 

see and you thought you would not have anything interesting to share today !

glad i could help ..

anyway .. back to the shoes .. 

for some reason .. who knows why .. especially the way that my brain has been working lately .. but i thought of the story of goldilocks and the 3 bears .. see i told you .. maybe i need to start reading adult books .. not the kind of adult books that have brown paper over the front .. the kind that have 2 and 3 syllable words in them and paragraphs .. anyway .. i wondered ..

what would she think about these muddy shoes .. little cash's shoes with the blue strip that makes him go extra fast ..

ellies shoes ..

 yes hers are cleaner because she rode home with me the other night .. and yes i carry a wire brush in my car for just this reason .. to scrape off yucky mud .. i do not want it in my car and then tracked all into the house .. just one of the rules if you are going to ride with me .. cash rode with jeff in the big truck .. there are no rules in the big truck .. that is why it is covered in mud .. grease and gatorade spills and has goldfish and pretzels bits everywhere .. snacks for later cash calls them .. kinda like the dirt under his fingernails .. doesn't bother him .. just me ...

and then papa bears shoes .. 

i think that goldilocks .. being the smart girl that she is would go on to the next house .. 

and by the way .. mama bear totally appreciated the fact that papa bear left the muddy shoes out on the front porch with the weed killer and bug spray ..

and no .. the raccoons nor lucky the dog carried them off .. actually they are still there .. after all .. there is soccer practice tonight .. and if they got put away where they go .. no one would know where they are .. expect me .. and i don't plan on being around to be asked ..

so they will stay there .. most likely until soccer is over ..

in may .. 

and it's time for soccer already ..

soccer practice started last night .. yes .. they practice even if it is muddy and clean freak mothers think they should not .. so since it was muddy ellie thought to wear her white socks .. oh mom she says .. i won't get them dirty .. 

she also thought to coordinate her hair accessories with her shorts and jacket ..

she had to move up this year .. she is playing with 10 year olds .. yikes .. look how little she looks compared to those other 10 year olds .. 

all of this is happening under the very watchful eye of jeff .. the athletic director of the family 

he was totally focused on ellie .. so much so that he didn't notice when cash went over to the tree and dropped his shorts and watered the grass .. 

cash is going to play this year to .. i know .. i don't know how jeff is going to do it .. both kids in soccer .. they both practice on monday nights .. and then cash again on thursday .. 

see those blue stripes .. those are going to make cash run really fast .. 

he is not thrilled about the color .. or the number .. he wanted 9 .. like his dad 

jeff helps cash's coach .. ok .. she is telling them  .. dribble the ball toward mr. jeff there and then kick it thru the goal ..

no problem cash says ...

thank goodness soccer is just 5 weeks long ..

oh and did i mention .. jeff bought a soccer goal .. it is in hank and denise's front yard .. that way they can practice every night .. because at our house there is no such thing as losing ..

sunday ...

do you ever get so worn out .. so exhausted .. so tired that you just can't go on anymore .. where the small child jumping into bed at night because he wants someone to scratch his back or help him find a bull dozer  .. the going 90 mph everyday for what seems like weeks on end just wears you out .. so tired from making lunches .. doing laundry .. just trying to get by that you are sure you are just going to collapse right there on the floor and sleep for a week at least .. so tired that you just know you are going to have a melt down in aisle 4 of reasors .. in front of people your child goes to school with 

i have been on the verge of this for the last few weeks .. for some reason cash is not sleeping thru the night .. mom he says .. i can't find my bulldozer .. you know the one that noah got me .. cash it's 3 am .. what are you going to do with a bull dozer .. i just need it momma .. i don't know where it is .. we will find it in the morning i promise cash .. now go back to sleep .. will you come and lay with me and scratch my back so i can go back to sleep .. ohhhhh cash .. 6 or 7 nights of this and you to will feel how i feel ..

and then my friend .. you will be rescued ...

ellie spent the night at aunt mary's on saturday and since my dad was out of town my mom was wonderful enough to keep cash ... this meant that jeff and i went on a date and that we were able to come home to a totally empty house .. NO and i repeat NO kids .. 

heaven i tell you .. total blissful heaven .. 

i made it very clear to jeff that if he ever wanted to have "relations" with me again that he will not wake me up to ask me where the remote is .. or could i get up and go get him some orange juice to drink .. or make him some eggs and waffles .. i told him that if he woke me up it would not be pretty .. that i would have a melt down the size of which he has never seen !! 

he got my point .. 

i remember rolling over and seeing the clock .. it said 10:30 .. the whole thought of having to get up and take a shower and then dry my hair and then get dressed was to much .. so i rolled over and went back to sleep .. until 4:00 .. then i drove to aunt mary's and picked up ellie .. then went to mom's and had chili for dinner .. and then came home and went back to sleep ..

i woke up at 7:15 this morning and i feel human again .. 

a very pretty box .. a box of love

when we got home from austin this was sitting on my table by the front door .. i knew who it was from even before i looked at the box  .. 

it was from trina .. my sweet friend that i have know since i was 5 ..

she upcycles everything she can find .. she is the queen of estate sales and one of the most creative people that i know .. she is also a teacher .. and brilliant and pretty .. 

she sent me this box of love for my birthday ..

all packaged and wrapped so pretty and neat ..

it is full of so many fun and wonderful items i am not sure where to start ..

vintage cards .. bingo sheets .. stamps .. pages of story books .. cook books and travel books ..

old pictures ..

stamps ..

playing cards ..

pretty pink card stock and a chip board cup cake book ..

i am so excited to play with all this wonderful fun paper i can hardly wait .. i might have to stay home from my date this weekend and work on some new cards .. 

thank you trina for this very fun and sweet birthday box of love .. 

the shuttle run ..

ok .. think back to elementary school .. i will give you a minute .. remember the president's physical fitness tests .. ugh .. i don't smile when i think of them .. not at all .. well .. ellie came home from school on monday all excited about them .. the shuttle run in particular .. it seems that they are going to practice at school for a bit before they take the test ..  she was quick to point out that she missed the all day swim/pizza party that they had at school last year for the kids that passed all the tests by just 1 second !!  

she does or i should say .. that will not happen this year .. no missing of the all day party at school .. so she told me that we need to practice at home to .. just like we practice our spelling words .. ok .. i say .. sure .. so i asked her .. well how far do you have to run to pick up the first block .. oh about that far mom .. ok .. this was going to require some professional advice of the highest level .. so i call julie .. she teaches middle school PE after all .. she will know .. and know she did .. 30 feet she said .. 30 feet ..that's a lot .. i had to use 2 tape measures to measure it out .. see those tiny blocks at the end .. 

those blocks .. well .. really they are erasers .. i don't have any wooden blocks .. cash probably does but i couldn't find them and he wasn't home yet so we just used erasers ..

ready ... set ... go ...

remember .. you have to run down .. pick up one block .. run back .. place it down .. not throw it .. run back pick up the other one and then run back and place it down to .. 

ellie did pretty good .. her first time out was 14.5 .. we got some very helpful hints from julie on how to improve our time .. by golly they worked .. when she was finished practicing she was down to 13.5 .. i thought ok .. this is pretty great .. i thought maybe she will just make the all day party at school this year .. i was feeling pretty good about it .. 

until ..

until she comes home from school today with the "sheet" .. this lists all the criteria that must be met to pass the presidents physical fitness and go to the all day pizza/swim party at school .. holy cow is all i can say .. i am pretty sure that i could not even meet them .. 

here they are just for kicks ..

shuttle run .. 11.8 seconds

sit ups .. 38 in 1 minute

sit and reach .. 33 cm

and my favorite .. the 1/2 mile run .. 3:58 minutes .. that is almost an 8 minute mile .. what 8 year old do you know can run an 8 minute mile .. i am training for a marathon and i am pretty sure that i can't even run an 8 minute mile .. 

she wants to go to the track at the high school and practice .. i will take her .. but i told her that i will work the stop watch .. if she can run 1/2 mile in 3:58 i won't be able to keep up .. 

 and that would be embarrassing .. 

new technology ..

i am not the kind of person that likes to step out of her comfort zone when it comes to technology .. i am not one of those people that can repartition a hard drive or reboot my server after it has been invaded by a nasty virus of sorts .. if i need that kind of technological drama i call emily .. she is a walking "it" department .. one that walks in killer high heels i might add and looks amazing doing it .. she often fixes her own servers before the osu "it" department even knows there was a problem .. so like i said .. i am not one for technological drama .. i have to many other things to do .. like eat oreos and watch law and order reruns .. so knowing this .. can someone please explain to me why i have gone off the deep end and changed from a pc to a MAC .. 

what was wrong with windows anyway .. why this need to upset the balance in my life .. my MAC does not like me .. it tells me at least 10 times a day that i am not authorized to be on it .. like it really wants to say "give it up lady .. you are pretty and smart and all .. but really .. you are never going to get me .. me and all my MAC simplicity .. go back to your little safe and slowing moving, non productive way of life .. you are not good enough for iphoto or imovie .. you won't be able to figure out all my little quirkes .. "

well buddy oh mine .. just you watch .. you may not let me save my photos in photoshop .. you may have lost all of my music folders in itunes .. but .. i am brilliant .. i will figure it all out before you can say  .. once you have a mac you will never go back .. 

i promise  .. 

golf .. i think ..

we do not golf on a regular basis .. jeff .. ellie and greg have clubs but we don't golf .. jeff and the kids will hit balls in the front yard every now and then and they will hit balls at lafortune park after school .. but again we don't golf .. 

jeff and i used to play beer golf when we were in college but that is not really a game that you can play with kids .. or at least with kids at a hotel .. maybe with kids in your front yard .. 

anyway ..

so we loaded up the kids and the clubs and headed to the driving range .. 

a little side note here .. there is such a thing as golf etiquette .. we didn't break every rule but came pretty close .. 

1.  proper attire .. this means collared shirts and golf shoes .. a no for us .. how about mastercraft t-shirts and sparkly tennis shoes ..

2.  being quiet .. this means no hollering "hey dad .. why is there an empty beer can in the golf bag ?" .. and "oh man .. i missed"

3.  being respectful of other golfers .. this means that you don't crowd them out .. make them cut their time at the driving range short .. 

yes the other golfers got just a little nervous when we pulled up ..

see what i mean .. this is not appropriate golf attire .. but who can argue with a dad helping his most favorite girl carry her golf bag .. if they have a problem with this then they can come and talk to me ..

she is still working on her form or stance or whatever they call it ..

i love this picture .. 2 brothers .. laughing and having fun while driving balls with their kids on spring break vacation .. mostly i like it because jeff is smiling .. i have missed that smile .. 

not sure if the dirt is supposed to be flying in the air  but it was .. and i will to have to also say that there were no golf course inappropriate words that followed .. 

hunter rolled/putted all those golf balls into all the holes or whatever they are called .. he was so proud of himself .. then cash ran down the hill and got them all out so poor hunter had to start all over again ..

we had  a great time at the driving range .. we weren't even asked to leave and the one kinda very golf looking grumpy guy went ahead and left when we saw us all walking up .. all i can is say is at least cash did not look like this ..

at least not when we went back in the afternoon ..

yes he is in his monster truck pj's and those are his red flip flops .. i thought to bring his tennis shoes and his sweat shirt when i joined the golfers after i ran in the morning .. 

pj's are for sure not proper golf attire .. 

either are flip flops ..

i am going to stop there .. 

Sun and sand ..

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We found the pool !

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Spring Break is underway !

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so excited !

last night jeff and i went on a date .. 

to the mayo hotel 

strange place to go on a date isn't it ..

unless ..

you call a book signing a date ..

and for the record i do consider a book signing a date ..

a hot date ...

we waited in line for a little over 4 hours ..

jeff waited at the bar just a bit to ..

and then finally it was my turn ..

i was all of a sudden speechless .. i didn't know what to say to her .. uh .. i couldn't even remember my name .. thank goodness it was on a yellow stickie inside my book .. hello there pioneer woman .. i read your blog every day .. your love story/saga makes me swoon .. i am so thankful that my friend emily told me about you .. 

 no .. 

didn't say any of the things that i had been practicing in my head over the last 4 hours .. just told her thank you for signing my book and that my daughter ellie and i enjoy her recipes .. 

big ole nerd .. that is so what she was thinking .. 

gosh .. i so want a do-over !!